10 Ways… #7 Be Selfish
Yep, I said it! If you want to become a better you so that you can live a better life, then you got to learn to be SELFISH!! Sometimes you just got to tell them jokers NO!!
I know that can be hard for those of us that are always pouring out, always giving, always being everything for everybody and in essence….being nothing for yourself!
You simply have to learn to say No. You gotta learn to be selfish sometimes. I’m not telling you to become a selfish person, I’m saying you have to learn how to have selfish moments!
Listen…I know exactly what it’s like!
I was always the person giving and giving and doing and doing! Having a heart of gold is a positive, but on the flip side of it, it can also be a negative. I have learned over the years that there are people out there who take the kindness of others as a weakness. You do all you can, give all you can, and for some reason, it’s never enough no matter how much you give or do.
I used to feel really guilty about saying no. It wasn’t until we got the revelation from God that my husband and I decided to stop giving as easily as we used to. God wanted us to use wisdom in our giving. We really wanted the direction from God. We wanted to sow seed on good ground out of the obedience to God, and not give just to be giving.
This is a very fine line for many. Just like me, there are so many out there who are or have been in the same position as I have. You’re the go-to person…the one that seems to be blessed and favored….the one whom others depend on. If you said no, would you make them mad, perhaps not like you anymore, not want to fool with you anymore, etc. Think about it. You have to be able to identify your “takers”. Takers are the ones that are always looking for something from others; it’s all about them and what they need right now. They don’t consider or even care that you have bills, have a family, or might even be struggling too. All they know is they need it, and they need it now. This could be your time, your money, your attention etc….These are the very ones that could suck the life out of you. They drain you at some point or another, and you don’t realize it until it’s too late.
How do you cut them off?? Very touchy…..First, you have to ask God for wisdom. Ask him to give you the revelation of identifying them from the onset. Ask him to give you wisdom on how you should deal with them. Know that it is God’s will for us to be a blessing, but it is also his will for us to use wisdom in that as well. The word of God tells us that in all our getting, we should get understanding. It’s important that we know who to bless, when to bless, and how to bless them. You may not have the money or the time that they’re looking for, but you do have a prayer. Sometimes the best thing that you can do to help them is to simply pray for them. Learn that it’s ok for you to say no sometimes. Saying no could be exactly what that person needs to help them get to the next level of what God has for them. As long as you say yes, you will continue to be the crutch that they need to hang onto on a daily basis. Give them room to grow. Saying no could be the biggest blessing that you could give to them. They might even thank you for it in the end.